Current mood:

apathetic

Yes, I know it has been a while. I've been working, hanging out with a few people I have wanted to spend extra time with before I leave for Georgia, or I've just been having me time and going out for rides and such. I spent the past half hour catching up on what I've missed over the past few weeks and nothing really tickled my fancy. I didn't even read most of everything because most people's LJs, Xangas, blogs, etc. are annoying. I realize everyone has their problems and I'm always willing to lend an open ear and help those with actual problems who are willing to get actual help, but some people are so goddamned ANNOYING about their problems. I just want to be like "shut the fuck up and get over yourself." Some people have the stupidest problems, the most petty problems, or the silliest reasons to be depressed or suicidal. Man, it seems like so many try their hardest to get attention or whatever they are searching for and are going about it all the wrong way.

And with that I probably pissed off about 86% of the LJ community. Hehe.

I don't know, lately I've been kinda blegh. Maybe I'm just in a very long-lasting bitchy mood, but I really don't know. I don't really care to go out with many of my friends that much. I've just been going through a kind of reclusive stage where I just want to work to clear my mind, be at home in my room behind a closed door playing a video game, or taking a ride around the area in the car by myself. You would think that with me moving to Georgia in two and a half weeks I would want to spend as much time as humanly possible with my friends, but I really don't. I'm not all sad and depressed; I guess maybe it hasn't really hit me yet. I mean there are only a very few number I actually want to be with because I will miss them the most. They're some of the very few people that know what true friendship is and I can trust them and love them as my closest and dearest friends. The rest I don't really care to hang out with and I probably most definitely will not miss as much. I don't know if there is any reason or many reasons for this. Meh, I digress.

I'm still very mixed about the whole situation. I'm not sad, but I'm not happy. I don't want to go, but then I do. One thing that pisses me off is that my parents are giving me a portion of the unfinished basement of the house. I get one outlet and one light bulb. Nice, isn't it? They couldn't even put my smelly, un-hygienic sister in the damn basement. Geezus. And then I got into a fight with my father because he wants me to stay up here and he says he would try and find a way to co-sign all of my loans to finish my education. I'd stay up here if it were a little more definite than that. But I have to give my father some credit. At least he's willing to try; Mom and Paul just don't seem to care and every goddamned financial situation they've made for me or aided me to make since coming to college has put me further and further into the abyss.

I hate how my parents keep fighting over me and fighting to each other through me. I hate how I always have to defend the other in these goddamned fights. I swear, if I could I would move with my friend Kari to Michigan and say "FUCK YOU!" to them all! Although, I'm pretty sure after my education is done and my career is on its way I will be saying good-bye to my mother and stepfather to show my gratitude for all they have done for me. Heh.

And here I go on and on about this stupid shit. I really would just be done with it all if I could. I really don't even care anymore; none of this stuff is eating at me or depressing me. I just need some way to get it all off my chest, right? I'm still not ready to move, and I doubt I ever will be even when I'm down there. I just kinda wish in the back of my head that I would come upon this lump sum of money so I could stay here and finish my education and screw over my family. Hehe. And that damned Idaho bastard just had to win the Pennsylvania Powerball!!! Geez, play your own goddamned lottery!

So anyways, I hope this is a sufficient entry. If not, tough shit. If any of you random LJers get pissed off by the above comments, oh well! People suck anyways. People are just too damned dramatic.